Thursday, June 4, 2009

Teen with Down syndrome, trusted classroom aide for 12 years have to go their separate ways on graduation day

From the Chicago Tribune:

Before Julie Halfen (pictured) crosses the stage to accept her high school diploma June 7, a special friend behind the scenes will make the last-minute primps to her cap and gown as she assists the young woman with Down syndrome one final time.

Linda Hammer, 53, (pictured) has been teamed up with Halfen for 12 years as her one-on-one classroom aide -- ever since the child entered 1st grade and was affectionately dubbed "Peanut" for her size.

Now Halfen is 19 and graduating from Glenbrook South High School in Glenview, with plans to attend a transition school that teaches life skills and job preparation. Her sidekick will no longer be there to help with her homework, shadow her in the hallways or share her oatmeal cookies.

"It's very bittersweet because I am so proud of her," said Hammer, who averaged 30 hours a week with Halfen. She even changed her school district employer to stick with her when the young girl entered high school.

"I think I have talked to Julie more than my own children," Hammer said, laughing.

School districts rarely assign the same instructional aide to work with a child for more than a few years, and some parents would object if they did, fearing an unhealthy dependence could develop, educators said.

Yet "Jules and Hammer," as they call themselves, are a unique pairing. "She's my twin," the high school senior said. "I love her."

They grew especially close when Halfen was in 2nd grade and recovering from a kidney transplant.

"The moment they met each other, something just clicked," said Karen Halfen, Julie's mother. "She had such a way with my daughter that nobody has ever had before."

Hammer believes Julie respects her because she is firm but kind. "I never talked to her like a baby," she said, recalling how Julie once locked herself in a school bathroom stall and wouldn't come out. Hammer warned she was going to count to three and then take action.

"I came in under the stall," said the aide, who at 5 foot 2 is not much taller than Julie, at 4 foot 6. "She said, 'Whoa.' "

Hammer accompanied Julie to classes throughout her years at Henking Elementary, Springman Middle School and Glenbrook South.

The girl thrived in a regular education program. She can read, write and complete basic math problems and is adept at using the computer to create Power Point presentations, her teacher said.

With Hammer's support, she has dissected a pig, gone to prom and read Barney books to toddlers enrolled in the high school's child development program.

On Tuesday, her last day of school, the teen put the finishing touches on a report about how Down syndrome affects families. In the past, she spoke about the subject before the entire freshman class. Her slide show began with the sentence, "I'm just like all of you."

Her relationship with Hammer runs deeper than academics, though. The two finish each other's sentences, are bluntly honest with each other and recognize when the other is feeling down.

Excited about media coverage of her graduation, she stepped off the school bus and greeted Hammer by saying: "I'm stoked. I'm excited. Hammer! Your outfit. It's boring."

At first, "I guess I was a little bit jealous how easily the two got along," Karen Halfen said. "But who am I to take my daughter's best friend away from her? I was just so fortunate to have this person."

Mary Zuccarello-Jaeger, Julie Halfen's special education teacher, said that in her 28-year career she has never seen an instructional aide remain with the same student for so long. It has made her job easier at times, and also posed early challenges.

"It used to be, if Hammer was out for the day, Julie would get an instant stomachache," said Zuccarello-Jaeger, who had to constantly reassure the teenager that Hammer would return.

The student gained more independence during her junior year, when Hammer slowly stopped accompanying her to every class. For years, the two also worked hard to get Julie to slow her speech, which only Hammer could understand at times.

"Hammer is so good at giving her wings," Zuccarello-Jaeger said.

Transitions are especially difficult for children such as Halfen, who cling to their routines. For that reason, some parents and educators believe it is better to change aides so the children learn to adapt to new people, said Sheila Hebein, executive director of the National Association for Down syndrome, based in Wilmette.

Yet she believes parents know best. She knows Halfen's parents and is inspired by their daughter's relationship with Hammer. "In many of our children's lives, the aide is the unsung hero," Hebein said. "Whether they are there 12 years or one year or six months, they can play a major role in helping a child become successful and confident."

Hammer's official assignment ends with Sunday's graduation at Rosemont Theatre, but it is clear the pair's informal friendship will remain tight. Already Jules and Hammer have plans to get together this summer.

But, Hammer said, she knows when to back off from Halfen and "really let her fly."