Pennsylvania couple expands their family by adopting 3 children with Down syndrome from Ukraine

From The Pocono Record in Pennsylvania:

The Torres family is settling and now officially numbers 12, with three additions.

In June, Ruben and JoAnn Torres of East Stroudsburg traveled to Ukraine in Eastern Europe to adopt three Down syndrome children from two orphanages. The journey lasted seven-and-a-half weeks, three weeks longer than anticipated, but allowed them the opportunity to bond their new daughters — Milena and Masha, both 3, and Lillia 'Lilli') who just turned 2.

"The flight home was probably the hardest thing I've ever done," recalled JoAnn, who flew into JFK Airport in New York alone with the girls; Ruben returned weeks earlier to work and be with their other children. Airports in Eastern Europe are not designed to accommodate strollers, she explained, but other people were helpful in assisting her on the numerous stairways in Kiev and in Frankfurt, Germany, where they changed flights. "Those last three weeks alone were tough but having the kids who were then with her in her apartment there) kept me busy."

She kept in touch with family and friends here by Skype Web cam) and e-mail and blogging. During the two weeks that JoAnn's husband, Ruben, was with her in Ukraine, the seven children back home stayed with the Strunk family, of Strunk Tree Service, and enjoyed Vacation Bible School and youth activities with them at Calvary Baptist Church in East Stroudsburg. "I felt more comfortable, 'cause it's hard to go to bed over there knowing my kids were just getting up," said JoAnn.

In August, the entire family took a week's vacation to Orlando. "This trip was given back to us by a very sweet and generous person who couldn't use it. The Torreses had given their timeshare to a woman in thanks for a $2,000 donation to help with the adoptions.) Another wonderful, generous friend gave us the gas money to go, knowing we really needed to be together after two months as a family. All we had to buy was groceries. We are grateful for these people and my sister who gets us into Disney Parks for free. It was a great trip although, very hot! But we had a good time. It was nice to be together after jet lag."

When meeting with the family before school started, it was moving to see how much love the kids show for one another despite the big change. When asked if there was anything about having more kids in the house that had taken them by surprise, the children resoundingly replied, "Diapers!"

Since none of the children at the orphanages were potty trained, all three are still in diapers, explained JoAnn, adding that they also needed to childproof their home again. "They've never been out of their little circuit at the orphanage, which is bare, ... so they have to be told not to put things in their mouth, not to touch electric outlets."

Although they are still going through the adjustment period, it is a relief after a year of fundraising and paperwork to have finalized the process.

"It's nice that the wait is over — all the anticipation and uncertainties. ... It seems like we're finally getting settled," said Ruben. The couple had navigated the European adoption system once before, when they adopted daughter Yulia, 5, from Russia three years ago. Yulia and one of the Torres' biological daughters, Amelia, also have Down syndrome. Since the genetic condition is considered a stigma in many Eastern European countries, Down syndrome children are typically removed from their natural families at birth; those not adopted by the age of four or five are institutionalized, few survive the first year.

Sadly. the Torreses talked about the plight of the children still waiting for homes in Ukraine, describing one couple that visits their Down syndrome daughter — five-year-old Ivana — in Orphanage 12 every week. They had to give her up, but continue to visit and bring her fresh fruit. Ivana was originally one of the three the Torres were to adopt, but her emotional issues and behaviors required more specialized attention than they could offer her in a big family. "She needs a family with older, fewer kids, and maybe even parents trained to work with special needs," said JoAnn, who came to love the child during the few weeks she was around her.

Because the Torreses did not adopt Ivana, they have to repay a $5,200 grant to Reece's Rainbow, the adoption agency. The other children they adopted were not old enough to qualify.

"She is teachable; she's headed to the institution, but could be released from there. ... The language barrier makes it hard, but you can see how high-functioning many of the children are when the caregivers talk to them in Russian. If we had the money, I'd go back and I'd take Angela and Olga two of the other children)."

The three girls, although in good health, did have some medical issues that will be evaluated by the family pediatrician this month. Two had 'oval windows' in their hearts, and one has a navel hernia, likely caused by rickets from lack of sunshine and Vitamin D. Milana and Masha will attend school through the Intermediate Unit's early intervention program two days a week for two hours; Lilli will receive occupational and physical therapy through Easter Seals.

The girls were not all in the same orphanage in Vorzel. Milana and Lilli were together in the "baby house' while Masha was in a separate house with older children.

"They were bored there — there's no music, no educational toys and no goal-oriented activities," said JoAnn. "A lot of the time they just sit out on the porch. Here) it's so much more interesting to get out. ... They don't look back."

Milana took a little longer to bond. She's very high functioning, so she's a lot more cautious. She was more attached to her caregivers and took a few weeks to bond with us). She's clinging to the kids — they bathe her, feed her." JoAnn said with a laugh that identical twins, Julia and Sofia, both 11, who adore looking after Milana, will sometimes trade outfits if they need a break.

Family friend and teacher Sandie Flannery, who has Milena and Masha two days a week in her Early Intervention class at Smithfield Elementary, traveled to be with JoAnn for 10 days in July while the adoption papers were being finalized; the plan had been for her to assist JoAnn in bringing the kids home, but delays forced JoAnn to stay three weeks longer until the children were officially released to her.

Profoundly affected by her experience, Flannery is already planning to return to Ukraine to provide training in learning activities and therapies to the caregivers. "I had an awesome, life-altering experience while I was there," she said. "It was wonderful to be with Joann and Ruben and to witness their love as they added Masha, Milana and Lillia to their family. As the mother of a severely handicapped daughter and a teacher in Early Intervention, this experience changed my life and made it make sense."

Flannery is currently collecting donated child-size orthopedic equipment, such as walkers, and adaptive equipment to ship to Ukraine for the baby house at Vorzel. A pastor whom the Torreses met in Ukraine is also looking for 12 to 15 people to come to the country as missionaries, to make repairs plumbing, roofing); Flannery is seeking others who would be interested in traveling as a group to do this, and also to help train members of the pastor's church in how to work with Down syndrome orphans. Individuals or church groups interested in this mission, or with child equipment to donate, may contact Flannery by e-mail at sanflan@ptd.net.

The Torreses are also organizing another tricky tray to help pay off the last $5,000 in adoption and flight expenses, to be held Oct. 10 at the American Legion on 5th Street in East Stroudsburg.

Follow the Torres family's ongoing blog at www.torresfamilyadoption.blogspot.com.