Fox News report explores BIID, in which people want amputation

The intro to a story on Fox News about BIID:

It's hard to imagine anyone wanting to lose a limb. But for people living with Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID), it’s a burning desire that haunts them every day of their lives.

For "John," it's a feeling that has consumed him for as long as he can remember.

“The first thing I can remember was when I was about 4 or 5 years old and in kindergarten — and I remember riding in the subway, and opposite me, one of the kids in the play group had no left hand — that was apparent — and I was really very curious about this… and I got up and crossed the car and tried to put my hand up his sleeve to try and figure out where his hand was,” he told FOXNews.com in an anonymous phone interview.

“John” also recalled several other vivid memories including one incident that happened when he was between the ages of 7 and 11.

“I remember two buses going in the same direction, and I was standing by the second bus, and I said to myself, ‘if I just stick my leg under the rear wheel of the bus, it will run over it and it will have to get cut off,’ and then I can remember saying to myself: ‘How will I ever explain why I did this.’”

“John” never went through with it — he eventually went to college and got married. But even now, after 47 years of marriage, he cannot shake the burning feeling of wanting to be an amputee.

“When I see an amputee — when I imagine the amputee — there is this inner pull that says ‘why can’t I be like that?’” he said.

The stigma that BIID carries is tremendous — and as a result, many people end up feeling like they're “living a lie” — not even sharing their desire to amputate a limb with their spouses or loved ones.

"John" only revealed his secret to his wife five years ago.

“As you can understand, my wife was not exactly pleased with finding out that I wanted to get a leg lopped off,” he said.

“She asked me and said ‘you know, you’re a rational man, you should be able to deal with this,’” he said. “And what I answered is that most of the things we hold deep within us – are not rational.”

Most people think anyone who wants to amputate a healthy limb has to be crazy — but John said that is certainly not the case. He said he has seen several psychiatrists, and all of them have concluded that he’s perfectly sane.

“They said there’s nothing else wrong with me — I just have this odd sort of dependency.”

Now in his “senior years,” as he calls them, “John” said he is feeling more pressure to carry out his lifelong desire.

But the fact is — people with BIID are left with very few options.

In 2000, Dr. Robert C. Smith, a surgeon from Scotland, made headlines when he amputated the healthy legs of two patients with BIID He said he was following the Hippocratic Oath by preventing his patients from resorting to more life-threatening options — but the medical community did not agree. Since then, it’s been virtually impossible for a person to find a surgeon willing to do the elective surgery, and many people with BIID have resorted to drastic and dangerous measures to induce amputation.

“I just want to get on with it,” “John” said. “But I want to do it safely. And my wife — who I won’t say accepts it, but is willing to go along with me, also insists — and I think she’s right, that this be done safely.”

John says that having his leg amputated would finally allow him to move on with his life.

“People keep saying you got to be awfully darn sure because there's no going back," he said, "and what I realized, well, maybe a half a year ago, is that if I keep putting it off, there's no going forward.”