India takes steps to host marriage introduction events for deaf community

From The Times of India:

Wanted: A suitable match for silent lovers. Matrimonial forums, both online and offline, are offering challenged youngsters a lifetime of nuptial bliss to help them fit within the larger fold of the healthy society.

Suraj Talwar, a strapping youth in his twenties, lives in silent bliss with his petite wife Seema. Their world overflows with love and compassion despite being mute.

Delhi-based Suraj, deaf since birth, met Seema at a Delhi Foundation of Deaf Women and Shaadi.com mass pre-marital screening and introduction event, "Pranay Milan Sammelan", for men and women with hearing impairment in the capital in April 2009 -- and they were married in October.

"We are happy," said Suraj.

The couple graced a "wedding introduction" at the Diocesan Community Hall of the Sacred Heart Cathedral in the capital Friday to celebrate seven months of happy matrimony.

Finding suitable matches for challenged men and women can be difficult, said Sudhir Menon, a Malayali youth, who found his wife Saji at the same event last year.

"Our relationship has endured though we cannot hear each other," Sudhir said.

Ranjan and Geetu, a couple with hearing impairities, are best of friends, notwithstanding the silence. The gestures are as eloquent as speech.

"We talk like anyone else. Had I not met Ranjan through a matrimonial platform, I would have been a spinster all my life," Geetu said.

The popular matrimonial site shaadi.com helped Geetu find her spouse.

On Friday, more than 70 young men and women from across the country - whose lives are confined to the dark recesses of silence - gathered at the community hall of the church braving the soaring mercury outside to bond with their prospective partners.

The women, clad in traditional finery, extolled their "home-making and professional acumen" on the stage in the universal sign language with the help of interpreters. The men too followed suit.

Several youngsters were represented by their parents and relatives, who interfaced on their behalf.

Over the last 18 years, the Delhi Foundation of Deaf Women have helped more than 2,000 mute young men and women tie the knot.

"It is a deeply satisfying experience. These couples need so little in life to be happy. For them, the ability to forge permanent bonds matters more than anything. Their world overflows with love - and sounds of silence. They rarely have reason to complain," said Rajyalaxmi Rao, president of the Delhi Foundation of Deaf Women.

Rao plans to host a bigger ‘swayamvar’ next year. "The space will be bigger and I intend to elicit greater participation of nearly 200 eligible men and women with hearing imparities," Rao said.

Shaadi.com has been partnering the Delhi Foundation of Deaf Women for the last four years to host the Pranay Milan Sammelan.

"Shaadi.com believes that everyone in life must be given a chance to find a life partner. The number of lives that we can touch every year is humbling," a senior shaadi.com official said.

The wish-lists for challenged brides and grooms reflect the changing times and their ‘constrained’ states of being.

"We want a working girl for our son Dhiraj. He does not make enough money and needs to augment the family income," said mother Anjali Sethi, resident of Vasant Kunj in Delhi, who scouted for a suitable girl at the Pranay Sammelan.

Her requisitions for Dhiraj, who suffers from hearing impairment reads: "Caste no bar, vegetarian. And preferably a Punjabi."

Most parents look for "working spouses for physically-challenged wards though they relent on caste".

"We cannot afford to be rigid about caste because it is difficult to find match for youngsters with hearing imparities. We want a deaf girl for our son," S.K. Agarwal, an industrialist from Noida said.

He has been hunting for a bride for his son Amit, who is challenged.

Experts say India is "following in the footsteps of US where 85 per cent individuals with profound deafness marry another deaf person".

Studies cite that "in case of marriages between couples afflicted by recessive deafness, chances that they will have deaf children range from zero to 100 per cent. Only five per cent of wedded couples with similar hearing imparities give birth to deaf babies".