Tuesday, March 17, 2009

British mother wants to help her son with Down syndrome find a sexual partner

From The Daily Mail in the UK. The family's story is featured on the TV show Natalie Cassidy's Real Britain on BBC3 March 19.

Like most mothers Lucy Baxter wants her child to live a fully rounded life - including the experience of a physical relationship and even finding love.

But her 21-year-old son Otto has Down's syndrome and has had trouble finding a partner. So she is appealing for women to come forward so Otto can 'enjoy the same experiences as other men his age'.

She says she is even prepared to go so far as to pay for a prostitute for her adopted son. Miss Baxter, 50, (pictured with Otto) also hopes he may one day become a father - despite the controversy this may attract.

'Society has a learning disability when it comes to Down's syndrome,' she said.

'Why should these people be kept separate and pigeon-holed when they have the same emotions, desires and feelings as so-called normal people?

'If he doesn't get a girlfriend, I will feel really bad, because I have sold him this thing that he is like everybody else. That's why I'm working overtime to get this sorted for him.'

Miss Baxter from Abingdon, Oxfordshire is single and has never married but has three other adopted sons - James, 27, Titus, 14, and Raphael, seven. They all have Down's syndrome. She has already helped James to set up a page on a social networking website to invite potential partners to come forward for him.

'I'd like all my boys to find love and enjoy sex,' she said.

'I would have no problem paying for Otto to go to Amsterdam to visit a brothel if that's what he wanted.

'A few of his friends suggested it a few months ago and since then I've talked to Otto about it in an adult way. Why shouldn't he enjoy the same experiences as other men?'

Otto is an aspiring actor who has appeared in local stage versions of Macbeth and The Canterbury Tales.

He persuaded his mother to help him find a partner after three years without success. He says his ideal woman is television and radio presenter Fearne Cotton.

He added: 'I'm on a mission to find a girlfriend. My reason is I want to have sex. I'm looking for girlfriends everywhere.'

Recalling previous encounters, he added: 'There was Jackie - she was a sexy bird, she was gorgeous. She gave me four kisses.

'Then there was Sarah. We had a crazy snog together. It was a few months ago. I'm still waiting for her to call me back.'

Miss Baxter would be 'delighted' if Otto brought a woman back to their house for sex.

'I don't have a problem with any of it,' she said. 'He's going to Las Vegas for a few days to promote himself as an actor so who knows, he might get lucky over there. When he gets back home I've lined up a few dating agencies for him to join. I always encourage him to go to nightclubs and other places where people pick up women.

'I have brought Otto up to relate to everybody so he has always been to mainstream school and mixed with everybody. I would like to see him with a girlfriend. I would prefer to see him with a girlfriend who doesn't have Down's.'

She said she would love to be a grandmother. 'I would also love it if Otto got a girlfriend pregnant. It's another experience everyone else goes through so why not him?'

She acknowledged that this was certain to cause controversy and said: 'I know if he did get someone pregnant everyone would have an opinion on it.'

Miss Baxter also hopes that her eldest adopted son will eventually lose his virginity but is not taking such drastic action as with Otto because James is a little less outgoing.

Carol Boys of the Down's Syndrome Association said: 'People with Down's syndrome have the same feelings and desires as everyone else and there is no reason why they shouldn't have relationships.

'There are many with Down's syndrome who have found a partner and some that have gone on to get married. Otto's experience highlights that there are different challenges that they have to face because they have a visible disability.'