ICan House in North Carolina helps kids on the autism spectrum with social skills

From the Winston-Salem Journal in N.C. In the picture, discussing sportsmanship are (from left) director Kim Shufran, Kayla Vickland, instructor Allie Lindborg and Dylan Hayes.

Until Dylan Hayes started going to the ICan House, he rarely started a conversation.

"Not even a greeting," said his father, Kevin Hayes. "The first time he got in the car and asked ‘How are you?' I thought I was going to fall on the floor."

Dylan Hayes has Asperger Syndrome, a neurobiological disorder that makes normal social interactions difficult for him. Like their peers with autism, people with Asperger's find it difficult to read other people or fit in with groups.

He was obsessed with video games and did well in math and technical subjects in school, but he struggled in classes like language arts.

Dylan has been taking part in the ICan house for about a year now, and the results have been startling, his father said.

"The biggest thing was that there really was not anything else like this available in town," Hayes said.

Dylan is now a freshman at Mt. Tabor, and his father said the transition to high school is going surprisingly well.

ICan House founder Kim Shufran, a former health-management consultant, started the program last September after she got frustrated trying to find help for her daughter Erica, 12, who also has Asperger's.

It started as a resource center for parents of children with autism and related disorders, but the emphasis has shifted to social-skills classes in a club-like setting that allows the kids to learn from each other, Shufran said.

"It's about addressing the needs of those with social differences," she said. "To not do something, I thought, was a disservice to the community."

The ICan House now works with more than 60 families and has a projected annual budget of $125,000, supported by membership fees and through grants and donations.

The name comes from an emphasis on ability rather than disability.

"For years they've been told something's wrong with them," Shufran said. "We look at more what they can do than what they can't."

The ICan House is actually an old row house in the 800 block of West Fourth Street. Get-togethers are held on the second floor, overlooking a row of maple trees.

"I wanted to make it home-like, so it didn't feel like a clinic," she said.

There are different programs based on the age and needs of the client. Although many in the programs have been diagnosed with Asperger's or autism, a diagnosis is not required to be enrolled.

The ICan clubs focus on practicing social skills and learning through play in a peer setting. There are three groups, for elementary, early middle- and middle-school students.

Real World Humanities is a 10-session course for young adults, and it stresses developing self-esteem and relationships. And the Meet-n-Eat group is for adults who have difficulty in social situations.

Last week, program director Allie Lindborg led a group of six kids ranging in age from 10 to 12 taking part in an ICan club.

At first they seemed like a typical group of kids as they got caught up in a video game on the Wii.

But their cheerful play masked some serious social problems. The most talkative member of the group has Asperger's and sometimes made comments that didn't fit in with the rest of the conversation. Another refused to join in a group activity, instead spending time by herself, rocking back and forth with her arms wrapped around her knees.

Some are overly sensitive to outside stimulus, including a boy who politely turned down a handout because he doesn't like the texture of paper.

The lesson of the day was sportsmanship. They watched a video on the principles of sportsmanship, and took part in group activities and discussions about playing well with others.

Lindborg led the discussion, but didn't lecture. The kids drive discussions with their own answers or experiences.

"They don't think about the fact that they're learning, but they are," Lindborg said. She said she has seen them make strides.

Hayes said he hopes Dylan will continue with the program as he gets older.

"He likes going there because there are people going there who accept him the way he is," he said.